Monday, January 14

The List of Great Truths

I'm not sure how it started, or why it started, but for some reason, I've slowly been collecting Great Truths. After much thought and pondering, I now have a list of two Great Truths, which are basically phrases that I think apply to my life right now and probably will apply for a very long time. I'm not sure why I feel the need to share this with the blogging world, but I'm going to anyway.

Are you ready for this?

1. It's better to do something than to do nothing.
I've been thinking about this fact for a long time. And the more I think about it, the more meaning and dimension it takes on. I used to type out a text message and think, what does it sound like to the other person? Should I add a smiley face? Should I just not text them? Will they think it's weird? Or I would be in the grocery store and notice the cashier's perfume and try to decide if I should compliment it. Or I would be at home and try to decide if I wanted to go to the gym or not.

And finally I got sick of thinking about every part of my life. Just do it. Just freaking do it. Don't think about it forever. Just do it. Type the email and push send. It doesn't have to be perfect and without errors and there may be a small chance it doesn't come out the way you want it to. But send it anyway. Tell the cashier her perfume smells good and where did she get it? She'll probably be flattered rather than creeped out (hopefully). Send the text message when you're thinking about it rather than letting the chance to say something slip away. Tell the person in the grocery store that their children are well-behaved and adorable. Effing do it. Doing something, in my opinion, is exponentially better than not doing something.

2. Never trust a Helen.
This might only make sense if you're seen the movie Bridesmaids. In that movie, one of the bridesmaids is a woman named Helen. She's sweet, beautiful, has a gorgeous house, a great husband, and a great family. She always knows what to say, and everything she does is sensitive, kind, and perfect. And for some reason, other women feel like shit around her. There's no particular, obvious reason. You can't quite pinpoint what it is about her.
I'm absolutely, almost certain that everybody knows a Helen. I went to college with several Helens and had class with them. I went to church with a Helen also. I tried to copy them, I tried to be friends with them. But I always felt inferior. Like I would never be sweet enough or pretty enough or holy enough. And one time I finally told one of my friends how I felt around this Helen, and she said, "me too!"

And that's when I realized, it's not me. It's them.

I am never going to hang out with somebody who always makes me feel crappy. I'm never going to be close friends with somebody who is so disgustingly perfect and flawless. I want to choose friends who are imperfect, and comfortable, and accepting, and friendly, and sometimes rude, and sometimes awkward, and real.

Here are some tips for identifying a Helen.

  • If she constantly has perfect clothing choices
  • If she uses the phrase "richest blessings" on a facebook post
  • If she gives you sad eyes when you tell her something that's going on in your life and her first response is, "I'll pray for you, honey."
  • If she calls you sweetie
  • If she has ever said, "you're so cute."
  • If all the pictures on her facebook are black and white glamorous photos
  • If she's perfect and wonderful and sweet, and you have no reason at all not to like her, but you still feel like crap when you're with her. 

If most of those fit, that person is probably a Helen.

So I finally realized that I should never trust a Helen.

10 comments:

  1. I once got in trouble for telling a joke to my mother, which I still think is funny.
    Two girls were on a playground, and one said to the other one "That girl looks like Helen Green". The other one said "Yeah, but trust me, she looks worse in red".

    Here are some more great truths in life.

    -Arguing about politics is the stupidest waste of your time in the world.
    -You are only guaranteed your yesterdays, not your tomorrows. So take advantage of every single opportunity in life.
    -Money does not buy happiness, but it can buy options (and if you use your options to be unhappy, you are a fool).
    -Stress and smoking will kill you faster than anything.
    -Life is too short for ______________. You only get one time in life, don't continue in actions and events that make you miserable. Walk away.
    -If you do not read something and learn something in a day, that day is wasted.
    -Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

    Tim

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  2. Those are both some pretty great truths to realize in life, though I haven't seen Bridesmaids, I'm pretty sure I can imagine the type of person. The "richest blessings" is a dead giveaway. I'm a user of big words myself but some people just go a little crazy with it. :P

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  3. This made me think of a Helen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS_LwObwXAs

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  4. Well, the first one happen to me all the time. I overthink too much. That is something I'm trying to work on now. :)

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  5. I can never put my finger on these "Helen's". I work with one and she drives me nuts!! :) Love your blog!
    -Bridgette
    http://bridgettenicole.blogspot.com

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  6. I was at a party once that was filled with Helens...

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  7. Sounds like I should just maybe watch the movie Bridesmaids?? lol haha. I'm a Helen and seriously hope I don't come acorss this way one bit! yikes. lol

    Helen
    Refashion Co-op
    Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
    Angel Light Photography by Helen
    Exercise Encouragement Group Blog
    The Story of Us: Love...Forever & Always

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  8. I've never seen Bridesmaids, but I knew exactly who you were talking about! Creepy!

    Eve
    lovealwayseve.blogspot.com

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  9. "imperfect, and comfortable, and accepting, and friendly, and sometimes rude, and sometimes awkward, and real." Haha

    HELENS........ ugh, There have been so many times in the past that I have wanted to punch a Helen. (I am not a violent person... No really... haha)

    (To funny Tim)

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  10. "imperfect, and comfortable, and accepting, and friendly, and sometimes rude, and sometimes awkward, and real." Haha

    HELENS........ ugh, There have been so many times in the past that I have wanted to punch a Helen. (I am not a violent person... No really... haha)

    (To funny Tim)

    ReplyDelete

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