Are you ready for this?
1. It's better to do something than to do nothing.
I've been thinking about this fact for a long time. And the more I think about it, the more meaning and dimension it takes on. I used to type out a text message and think, what does it sound like to the other person? Should I add a smiley face? Should I just not text them? Will they think it's weird? Or I would be in the grocery store and notice the cashier's perfume and try to decide if I should compliment it. Or I would be at home and try to decide if I wanted to go to the gym or not.
And finally I got sick of thinking about every part of my life. Just do it. Just freaking do it. Don't think about it forever. Just do it. Type the email and push send. It doesn't have to be perfect and without errors and there may be a small chance it doesn't come out the way you want it to. But send it anyway. Tell the cashier her perfume smells good and where did she get it? She'll probably be flattered rather than creeped out (hopefully). Send the text message when you're thinking about it rather than letting the chance to say something slip away. Tell the person in the grocery store that their children are well-behaved and adorable. Effing do it. Doing something, in my opinion, is exponentially better than not doing something.
2. Never trust a Helen.
This might only make sense if you're seen the movie Bridesmaids. In that movie, one of the bridesmaids is a woman named Helen. She's sweet, beautiful, has a gorgeous house, a great husband, and a great family. She always knows what to say, and everything she does is sensitive, kind, and perfect. And for some reason, other women feel like shit around her. There's no particular, obvious reason. You can't quite pinpoint what it is about her.
And that's when I realized, it's not me. It's them.
I am never going to hang out with somebody who always makes me feel crappy. I'm never going to be close friends with somebody who is so disgustingly perfect and flawless. I want to choose friends who are imperfect, and comfortable, and accepting, and friendly, and sometimes rude, and sometimes awkward, and real.
Here are some tips for identifying a Helen.
- If she constantly has perfect clothing choices
- If she uses the phrase "richest blessings" on a facebook post
- If she gives you sad eyes when you tell her something that's going on in your life and her first response is, "I'll pray for you, honey."
- If she calls you sweetie
- If she has ever said, "you're so cute."
- If all the pictures on her facebook are black and white glamorous photos
- If she's perfect and wonderful and sweet, and you have no reason at all not to like her, but you still feel like crap when you're with her.
If most of those fit, that person is probably a Helen.
So I finally realized that I should never trust a Helen.