Friday, January 4

In Which MaryBeth Realizes She is a Fake Woman

I am a fake woman according to society.

Seriously. Just look at your Pinterest. Actually, to save you time, I've compiled some of the memes that stereotype women and define them by their body type.
And then I'm sitting over here all awkward, being like, Dang it, I thought I was a woman, but since I don't have curves, I guess I'm not.

But seriously. Let's talk about it.

It sucks that so many women have experienced the pressure to be skinny because of the media. It sucks that Victoria's Secret models all have the same exact body type. It sucks that there isn't more diversity portrayed on TV shows.

And it also sucks to post snarky memes about how skinny, curveless women are sub-standard, inferior women. My thighs and chest are not what make me a "real woman." Which, by the way, what the hell does that even mean? Does the fact that I have a vagina not make me a real woman? I'm pretty sure that's the only requirement for being a woman.

Throughout highschool and college, people would constantly comment on my body. Boys, girls, women, men, teachers, friends, coworkers.

"You're so skinny!"
"Girl, you need to eat a sandwich!" (Told to me by a fellow teacher at my last job. Awesome.)
"Do you ever eat?"
"What do you do, like workout all the time?"
"Are you anorexic?"
"Go eat a sandwich!" (What is it about sandwiches?)
"Why do you even work out. Seriously. You weigh like two pounds, so just quit."
"You need to put some meat on those bones." (Approximately 27 times)
"Haha, do you ever make yourself throw up?"

Rather than saying, "shut the hell up," like I should have, I would politely laugh at their inane, asshole comment and move on. It really bothered me, though, because I would never, ever make a comment to somebody struggling with being overweight, so the fact that they thought they could make a comment to be because I struggled with being underweight seems very arbitrary and hateful.

I didn't choose my body type. I didn't choose my struggles. Being a normal weight is a struggle and a constant challenge. I feel like I have to think about food way more than other people, because gaining weight is incredibly difficult. And no matter how much weight I gain, I'm never going to have a big chest or a big bootie. I will probably always be able to fit into twelve year old boy jeans. I will probably always have the option of not wearing a bra with my clothes.

And that's okay. 

Categorizing women based on their curves is embarrassing. It's embarrassing that we as women are allowing these false, indecent ads to be pinned to our Pinterest boards and shared on Facebook. It's embarrassing that so few people are standing up and calling people out on crap like this. And it's embarrassing when people judge women on their bra size. Let's not allow judgement on skinny girls or curvy girls.
Credit to Rachel for writing about this topic and making me think about it more. 

17 comments:

  1. I read the first meme on Facebook (ironically posted by a family member) and the first think I asked Duane was if he felt like a dog for liking the way I look. I'm not sure who decided it was a good idea to make some people feel better about their looks by insulting others, but it's stupid. However, the people who made the above rude comments to you were just really pissed off that incredible beauty comes naturally to you. The correct answer to those questions ought to be, "Why the hell would I want to change anything about myself when I'm this freaking hot."

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    1. Please say that to someone! I would love to see their reaction to that. lol.

      95% percent of these jerks are jealous of you.

      They're operating on the "piss-on-you-so-I-feel-better" mindset.

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    2. Haha, I saw that exact one on Facebook too! That's what made me start thinking about it. Chase, I love your "piss on you" phrase. I've never heard that before!

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  2. Well of course I'm going to love this post? And what is it with the sandwich thing, anyways? Cheeseburger is the other one I always hear.
    And it just so happens that I can't stand either sandwiches or cheeseburgers, so maybe that explains the skinniness, since apparently those are the two solutions.
    I don't know why people are able to understand that people are tall or short or have certain skin tones or even disorders or diseases based on our genes...but they can't accept that some people are also genetically predisposed to be small. If anyone looked at my family they wouldn't wonder that I'm skinny.

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    1. Yes! I definitely agree about the whole accepting-diversity-thing-except-when-it-involves-skinny-people. And I'm so with you on the sandwiches thing. Gross. I can sometimes eat peanut butter and jelly, but never ever ever meat and cheese. Maybe someday... Haha.

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  3. MaryBeth, a few months back my younger sister made a very similar statement to yours. She, like yourself, is a very thin person. And once she pointed it out to everyone on FB how disturbing it was I had to take a second look at these things. As you know, I am a curvy girl and most of the time it doesn't bother me in the least. I would be lying if I said never. Just FYI I think all women are beautiful no matter the size as long as they show their beauty in everything they do. I may not be someone's idea of beauty but my Husband makes me feel like I am the most beautiful person on the planet Just like I am sure Chase does for you. Not 100% sure of any of that makes and sense but there it is. Wish we could have seen you both over Christmas. It is terrible getting sick when there are people you want to see. Much Love to you both.

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    1. Hey Michelle! That's really interesting about your sister. I definitely understand where she's coming from. :) Also, that's SO sweet about your husband. I still can't believe I've known you guys for so long but have never met him. You guys's Christmas pictures were great! I wish we would have been able to meet up over Christmas also. Oh well... maybe next time. :) We'll definitely let you know next time we come into town.

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  4. Hi! I just wanted to let you know I'm looking for guest bloggers at Blue Eyed Beauty Blog! Check out details here and let me know if you'd be interested in writing up a post! I'd LOVE to have you!

    http://blueeyedbeautyblogg.blogspot.com/2013/01/guest-bloggers-wanted.html

    Helen
    Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
    Exercise Encouragement Group Blog

    P.S. you're hilarious!!

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    Replies
    1. Helen! I would love to guest blog for you! I'll email you about it. :)

      Delete
  5. Ha! You are a trip girl! Thanks for your honest take on the often under-represented part of our population and what it's like from your perspective. Because you are right.....so right. I sorta covered this in my One Word post as well...about the "bikini butt"....yeah. well.

    Bless you Sister...visiting here from the Unmasked linky.

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  6. Haha, well thanks. Now I'm curious to read your post! I'll check it out. :)

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  7. I just came across your blog via refashion co-op and I just wanted to say thank you for this post! It's something I've struggled with for a long time. Just as it's difficult for some to lose weight, it's rather difficult for others to put on that weight.

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  8. Hey! I followed you through the "I Love my Post" blog hop! So glad I found your blog, i'm a new follower :) Come follow back if you'd like!

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  9. I am short...and scrawny (well except right now since my belly is so round)...but I always been considered boy-ish..and I don't care..because I like to think I am proportional..haha

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  10. Only saw this today! Remember me? hehe As I've told you before, we're the same size, fitting 12 year old clothes. And I couldn't relate more to what you wrote! but all those nasty comments come from jealous minds, it can only be!

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  11. I will never forget in HS when this girl I didn't even know turned to me and said, "Nobody wants a bone but a dog." I wanted to cry.

    I was probably 100 lbs and ATE everything (and no I did not throw it up)

    My metabolism was so high that I just could not gain weight and everyone and their brother felt like it was completely okay to comment on my body.

    It made me feel SO UGLY and there was nothing I could do about it.

    After three kids I look "normal". People always think of me as lucky but I don't think they ever understood how hard it is to be asked if you are sick, or bulimic, or why don't you eat something, or to be called noassatall.

    Why do people think it's okay to do this?

    Anyways, thanks for the post. Hopefully people read it and realize they are actually hurting peoples self esteem with these kinds of comments.

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  12. I love that you posted this! People have always just looked at me sarcastically like "Poor pitiful you. It must be so hard to be skinny." anytime I ever said anything about this. People have always said to me (in an accusatory tone) "You don't look like you've had 3 kids." I never knew whether to say thank you or I'm sorry! If it's fair game for you to say how sickeningly skinny I am, is it ok for me to comment on how fat you are? It's never appropriate to use derogatory comments, no matter what the subject matter is. It is not ok to tear other people down just to build yourself up. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but I always get going on this subject! Thank you for this post! Skinny girls unite! ;)

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